The Porn Within

I was hungry..

And suddenly I was Aware.  

My mind fell backwards like I was no longer driving but I was in class.  Not me, but someone like me.. or like them.. or like us.. in another time..

old-fashioned..

A sudden Spaghetti Western with a cowboy-amalgam of us all.. the Roy Rogers of the religious right....sitting in a Sunday school class hearing the pre-class babble of opinions and high pressure politics but under the surface?.. hidden safely from view was my thoughts..

..and I was watching some dude across the room eating the last donut....triggering in me the awful empty feeling of "nothing"... turning over in the gut.... (I was satisfied before that) and thinking how.. in the end.. everything looked and acted (and reacted) just like a machine..

..and how much, despite wanting to love thy neighbor.. I also wanted food like I could kill a man.  Like I could club him over the head with his own partially eaten arm.  Like if I could get a hold of it.. wrestle his beloved blueberry-glazed Sunday School cruller out from his hand.. Black Friday-style.. I'd strip away it's un-edibles (napkins etc) and with someone holding him at bay.. (with the necessities and the rights of war) I would devour it right in front of him.. BIG DOG eats first!.. But not before I held it in my hands like the last life vest on a sinking ship.. groping it like a consumer does STUFF.. a re-Marie Antoinette in an upper room watching them occupy the streets below.. and me?.. with hands clinched tightly like a ravished economy of cake falling carelessly below.. with fevered fervor.. and a confidence as if.. for the good of society.. the market had selected me as CEO for my bulging bank account and my bigger weapon.. a gun barrel of loaded capital... unregulated... untaxed.. and multiplying with excitement at a frenzy as I compounded it quarterly..

But then.. just like that.. I snapped out of it...
"occupy Wall-street"... I heard someone say.. rolled eyes... proud stares.

I was empty.
..my stomach growled and my face flushed red...

"stop bitching and get back to work".. came more words..  and others laughed.  

My palms were sweaty against my will..

Flesh.  I thought.

and now driving faster..  I realized the desperation of being trapped in a body.. and overly attached to my spine.

Support Local Artists

The American Theater Company, Tulsa is a resident professional performing arts theater company celebrating 42 years of live theater.

Check out these shows in December
Good Boys
Dec 2-10
Doenges Theater Tulsa Performing Arts Center

A Christmas Carol
Dec 8-23
Williams Theater Tulsa Performing Arts Center

For More Info
http://www.americantheatrecompany.org/

Sympathy for the Devil (#32 on the List)

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a mans soul and faith
And I was round when jesus christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
I stuck around st. petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank
Held a generals rank
When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made
I shouted out,
Who killed the kennedys?
When after all
It was you and me

(The Rolling Stones') album before beggars banquet. while containing no direct Satanic references, had been titled Their Satanic Majesties Request, and "Sympathy" (for the Devil) brought these concerns to the fore, provoking media rumours and fears among some religious groups that The Rolling Stones were devil-worshippers and a corrupting influence on youth.[3] The lyrics' focus, however, is on atrocities in the history of mankind, including the trial and death of Jesus Christ where "Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate". Also, including European wars of religion ("I watched with glee while your kings and queens fought for ten decades for the Gods they made"), the violence of the Russian Revolution of 1917 and the 1918 massacre of the Romanov family ("I stuck around St. Petersburg when I saw it was a time for a change, killed the Tsar and his ministers — Anastasia screamed in vain") and World War II ("I rode a tank, held a general's rank when the Blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank").[6]

(Keith) Richards said in a 1971 interview with Rolling Stone, "Before, we were just innocent kids out for a good time, they're saying, 'They're evil, they're evil.' Oh, I'm evil, really? So that makes you start thinking about evil... What is evil? Half of it, I don't know how much people think of Mick as the devil or as just a good rock performer or what? There are black magicians who think we are acting as unknown agents of Lucifer and others who think we are Lucifer. Everybody's Lucifer."[9]

wiki for what its worth:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathy_for_the_Devil

The Hugh Hefner on High

if skimpy bathing suits bother you... don't watch this. 

Strip clubs are one thing.. But Art Lovers have been looking at naked bodies for years.. Somehow the appreciation doesn't translate well in the faith world however.

But there is a middle way.

I've never quite felt comfortable with an anything goes approach to art ie... stuff like child pornography.. (Again.. see Rapha House and Black Box International to help sexually exploited children).. but I've never liked a "bubble-type" definition of what pornography is either.

Again... the Holy Book is filled with graphic and shocking descriptions of all kinds of things.

That said.. Nakedness is not porn. Nakedness is someones Vulnerability becoming something else...

What's the difference between describing a lovers naked body in an Ancient text.. and showing it as a piece of art on canvas.. in a photo.. or on film?..

..(or even the sexuality associated with it for that matter??).

on the other hand... PORNOGRAPHY ISN'T as much an image... As it is a mindset.. or an attitude.

PORNOGRAPHY itself IS MORE LIKE graphically taking a shotgun and blasting someones humanity...

words used to describe what porn looks like are words like..
exploiting
graphically dehumanizing
degrading
obscene
profane
each of those words require strict definition..

it can be confusing at times as some things that appear as porn aren't actually porn at all... and being able to successfully identify porn as porn is sometimes directly proportional to our awareness of our condition

example: the art may be (relatively) shocking but the artists intention may be the absolute opposite of say.. someone who.. for practical purposes.. is in the business of graphically killing people.
again.. pornographers degrade and exploit..... artists (sometimes) shock for a greater purpose.

on the other hand.. other things that seem benign (perhaps because of our callousness) are actually a major offense to human-kind and we never even realize it.

example: The 1915 film "The Birth of A Nation" portrays the KKK as a group of heroes to a Southern culture. It was well received (and artistically respected) as a major motion picture of its day... There is no nakedness or sexually explicit material in the film at all. But does it actually fit the usual porn criteria?...
..Exploitive? Dehumanizing? Profane? Obscene?

Wise people know the difference between literature like Lolita.. and child pornography.

Beyond that though.. only God above... (or the Hugh Hefner on High)... can truly identify pornography.. because pornography happens in the heart..

...and strictly speaking.. for legal purposes.. God doesn't seem to be speaking.

The Next Four

80. "You Really Got Me" – The Kinks

82. "Blueberry Hill" – Fats Domino

84. "Every Breath You Take" – The Police
85. "Crazy" – Patsy Cline

Each week I purchase 4 more songs from the list that I don't already have.  These are the next four.