Jamie's New Tattoo. (check out Mel D's web site Inkjunkys.com)

Many have asked me where Im getting my tattoo work done, and the answer to that question is none other than Mel D working out of Spaded and Jaded Tattoo co. Check out this link to his website. After searching for an artist with a history of great tattoo art I was surprised to find that this guy was local. Highly recommended by previous clients and other tattoo artists alike..... He has 24 years of tattooing experience......... And........ more than 80 national and international awards.... This dude does incredible work. I challenge you to look (on his website) at his black and grey portrait work. This guy doesn't have a TV show, but (FMAO).... He's better than Kat.

The Existential Blues

One of the freaky mysteries of life is that given all the physical and psychological limitations that people have....

(.....hormones.... DNA and genetics... conditioning.... etc.)

people also have the ability to resist the expected responses of life.... to break away from the norm... swim upstream... and make a choice.

Freedom.

I found out recently that Martin Luther King Jr.'s most famous speech (maybe one of the most famous speeches in world history) was something of an ad-lib.  If you were to find the notes that MLK was using for his speech that day, you would not find the words "I have a dream" written anywhere on the manuscript.  While he had used segments of the speech at different times prior in his life, the speech as it was spoken was entirely made up on the spur of the moment... An impulse, and then an addendum to the close of the speech that he was already giving that day.

I've often wondered...... what if MLK had been preoccupied that day???  What if he went into the speech with a mind full of crap??  Thoughts???  Worries??   Fears about the future!!!

Would he have felt the impulse?  Would he have listened to it?  Acted on it?  

I'm finding that most of the important things in my life happen when I respond to the impulse.  But instead, usually I find myself trapped by my fears of things... or my constant dissatisfaction with life.... always craving what's next.

John Lennon said "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans", and as an example of that, when my father used to visit (before his passing) all he could do was talk about his upcoming visit.  But 10 minutes after his arrival, instead of talking and enjoying himself he was already talking about his plans for his next visit....

As I sit here writing, and watching television (and commercials...) I'm also worried about work tomorrow..... and I'm angry about how I got screwed over the other day....  And I'm thinking about what it would be like to be an Iron Chef for a living....  And I'm hungry for cheese...... (What if during his speech, MLK was thinking about cheese?)  

And despite all the things that fight for my attention, I wonder sometimes what my life would be if I could stay fully engaged; awake and aware of my immediate surroundings.  What would it take for me to be fully present to my son as I play the Wii with him...???  Kicking the ball around in the backyard with my daughter??

MLK changed the world.  What if in the course of my daily life I felt the impulse... "Heard the voice"... and then responded with an action that transcended everything that was expected of me.

The deal is that as much as I feel the pressure to be as I've been conditioned....  As much as I try to stretch myself.... worry about (or crave) the future..... dwell on the past....   all I've really got are the things that are here in front of me...... right here.... and right now...

Im starting to believe that in the end.... the only way to break free of all of life's limitations is to live every moment completely aware of the choice I have in front of me.  Who we are, and who we will become can only happen in the choices that we make right now.

The Rectal Tube Blues

I was surprised to find out a few months ago that the word buddha literally means "awake".... .........(interpreted... enlightened).

Of course through the years, as in all things, there has evolved a whole larger meaning to the word.

(think of how many different views of "Jesus" have existed through the years..... There was the...

"slaughter the Jews and Muslims"-Jesus...

-"Pro Southern Slavery"-Jesus......

Today there's the.... "God Hates Fags"-Jesus.. etc.)

But all "extra meaning" aside, one of the common problems of people is the problem of staying awake, or alert to real life.

I was walking through the halls at work the other day... the crazies yelling out at me down the hall.  And as I came across a discussion between a nurse and a nurse aide I just stood nearby and listened in. The nurse was talking about a problem with one of the crazies.... about how this dude was constantly "crapping on the bed". (diarrhea.... Immobile..... stuck in his bed). And it was happening so often that his skin was getting excoriated (burned) from the bodily fluids. And so the nurse was telling the nurse aide they were gonna have to place a rectal tube in this dude to prevent him from burning his skin off.

Rectal Tube: moderately large draining tube placed (with loads and loads of lubricant) into the rectum to prevent the random drainage of feces onto the skin to prevent excoriation............

* The nursing world is real life, friends. Place a rectal tube into someone and you'll never see people (or life) the same way again.

Of course the problem for the poor guy was that he was living in another world entirely. Bugs all over the place.... People he used to know walking in and out of the room.... (not real)... There was no way to prepare the dude for the thing that was gonna save his ass (literally). And so you just had to go in. Turn him on his side. Lube it up... And then go to town.
(euphemism used to protect the reader from harsh details....)

One of the biggest problems for us (people) is that all reality is literally recreated in our heads. We receive sensations from the sense organs in our body (Eyes, Ears, Nose, Tongue, Skin), and then by way of nerves and neurotransmitters it all makes it's way up to the brain where it's processed.... filtered on some level.... and then totally reconstructed to recreate what you and I know as the real world. We take it for granted... But reality is just what a majority of people (on some subconscious.... unspoken level) agree on. The problem for the crazies is that they have the same types of sensations we do... But for them ... It happens randomly..... (unstimulated at times)... And so... The world they see and hear is very real to them... They recreate it just like we do.... But chaotic and unpredictable... based on sensations... some that are true... and some that aren't. Every once in a while with either the help of medications... or time... one of them will snap out of it. Wake up and come back to real life.

Sadly for the crazies... However... Everything's an act of faith for them... After all... If you were telling me yesterday that their's no spiders on the wall... Then how can I really know for sure today if the spider Im seeing is real?.....

After a few minutes in the hallway the nurse and nurse aide came from the room. They were talking about "the event", and I was imagining the physical process for this dude as they described it.

"We turned him over and started to insert the tube"....

Patient: -Received stimulus from the skin and surrounding areas....

-instantaneous transmission to the brain via nerves and neurotransmitters.

-crazy interpretation in the brain of stimulus and then attempted crazy response....

The nurse continued: "and the whole time we were placing the tube.... He was reaching back and swatting at it.... Saying... WHOA!!!..... BIG MOSQUITO!!! .......BIG MOSQUITO!!!!".

(True Story).

2011: Wyno's Forever

I was reading a book about the way celebrities (and their love-life carousels) tend to wreak havoc on their bodies in the form of tattoos.... 

And tattoo removals.... 

And tattoo cover ups.  

Some find ways to redeem the underlying ink mistake in a cover up, or sometimes they incorporate the mistake into the next design.  My favorite example was Johnny Depp's tattoo for his then wife Wynona Ryder that read "Wynona Forever"....  

later (after their separation and divorce) changed to "Wyno.. Forever".

And for some reason that had me thinking about what's really important in my life. (Don't do new year's resolutions.... so this is as close as I get)...

A few of the things that came to mind were.... A).  "world peace", (A child of divorce.... I've been working on this one for a while)....  2).  A Tattoo....  (actually want a bunch.... but you gotta start somewhere).... and  C).  Another bottle of Moscato (Italian sparkling wine) that I (Santa) gave my wife for Christmas.

(these are my new years goals...... not necessarily in that order)

But I was reading a little on the Jewish view of world peace and I found that in the book of Isaiah a Hebrew image of a blues-free world is the world as a vineyard, where the best wine is produced.  A wine produced for the great big party to come....

That's my view of world peace this year.  It's the planting of a vineyard.... preferably somewhere close to the Mediterranean, specifically near the Italian region of Asti, where the best Moscato Bianco grapes grow without interference from any wild or contentious outside force.  Where water and soil and sun come together to harvest the perfect grape (my opinion). And where sweet sparkling sun kissed bubbles make their way across oceans and highways......
and into my liquor store, (and stomach) as a reminder of a better world to come.  A world made for sour hearted jewish men, and blues men and for (soon to be) tattooed "Wyno's", thirsty for a better world.   

Intimate: The Real Bastard Blues

My heart was racing and I collapsed.  I was laying there on the bed..... short of breath.... feeling self-conscious.  Hurt.  Fat.....  with self-pity. 

She stood and stepped into the restroom.  I saw her curved silhouette in the doorway before the door was closed.  It didn't belong to me anymore.  Her silhouette.  She was here...  with me.  But it felt like she was gone.  Left now.  Through the bathroom window and out into the world.....  with someone else.        

I was trying to forgive her again.  This is how it goes.  It's continuous.  I was trying to say one F word.  And I was trying hard not to say the other.  This is what you're left with once it's broken in the heart.  

My bed felt dirty.  Unclean.  

It's near Christmas time, and Christmas had always mattered to me.  The magic as a kid.  The story.  But now it was different.  I was lying there remembering the profanity of the story now.  Namely, that he was going to be a bastard.  That's what life was dealing him.  He was gonna be a bastard like me...  

(literally...  I was  Adopted.  But first born to a young girl- unmarried.  That was at the end of a time when the world still disdained people like me).       

I always loved him for that.  I don't mean worshiped in the high Holy sense... (although I've done that).  I mean loved.  With fondness.  Affection.  A kinship.  Like maybe when I looked out into the chaos of what life can be sometimes, that I wasn't alone.  Because he was gonna be a bastard like me.  We were both bastard sons together.      

But there were differences.  The world was a blues-song maker.  To that there was no doubt.  And as I imagined the little bastard boy in the manger, I was fully aware of the differences between the two of us.  I was the real Bastard.  Some of the blues of the world was a result of my own choosing.  Songs written from sins of a time I had demanded it all my way.  Refusing to play well with others and making Senatorial like decisions... Judgements....  about things and people I didn't understand.

Songs about living every day roaming the world profane, like an angry blues man...  A guitar playing Cain.  Angry.  And Hurt.  Fighting mad and consuming everything and anything like an industrialized unholy Hell.    

And now?........ Wallowing in it.  Content to just lay there like a pig.  Pitiful, on the temple grounds of the dirty bed that was my world.           

She came out from the bathroom and lay beside me.  Her skin still felt warm.  You know I love you she said.....  I didn't look at her.  

But do YOU love me?  I asked in silence.  

I wasn't talking to her.  It was the child I was talking to.  The would-be bastard son in the manger.  The lover of those who are profane.  

Do you love me I asked, and then I just lay there naked beside her.  The two of us.  Adam and Eve, profane; the both of us, on our dirty bed.  And I let my heart break itself wide open again in tears before I slept and dreamt.  And longed for a world I remembered that was once so much better than this.  Can there ever be a world that's better than this?    

Beating the Blues by Eating Doughnuts

In keeping with my plan of becoming Jewish (Festivus not withstanding), and considering the holiday season, I was reading a little about Hanukkah.  One thing I didn't realize until recently is that Jesus celebrated Hanukkah (and why not?........ he was jewish).  Nor did I realize what it was all about.

The short version goes something like this:  This dude named Antiochus Epiphanes was giving the nation of Isreal the blues, conquering, raping, pillaging, and taxing as old world (and new world) dictators tend to do.  And then a faction of Isreali soldiers were able to retake the land and Jerusalem.  After restoring the Temple they began the ritual of purification and rededication (the hebrew word for dedication is.... Hanukkah).  And after a dude found a flask of oil (olive oil.... extra virgin Im assuming) they began lighting the lamps.  The problem was that the flask that was found had only a days worth of oil in it and the ritual was to last eight days.  The miracle of Hannukah (also called the Festival of Lights) is that with one days worth of oil the Temple was rededicated for the entire eight days. 

So now Jews light eight candles, sing hymns, give presents, and eat a lot of deep fried fatty foods cooked in olive oil (doughnuts: Yiddish: פאנטשקעס pontshkes), fritters (bimuelos) potato cakes: (latkes........sounds like the perfect holiday to me). 

That said, Im intriuged at the way Judaism incorporates reminders of the goodness of life into the daily blues of the wourld.  I came across this article in a book I was reading by this Jewish dude talking about Jewish Holidays.  Check out what he had to say...

"There is a story (undoubetedly apocryphal) about a Jew who attended one of Hitler's Munich rallies at the start of the Nazi coup.  While Hitler ranted, cursing the jews, he became confused by a man in the first row who was laughing in derision at the fuehrer.  When the speech was over, Hitler's men detained the heckler and brought him to Hitler, who asked the man who he was. 

I am a Jew, he said proudly. 

Dont you believe that I will carry out my threats to destroy all Jews?  This is not a laughing matter, said Hitler.

You are not the first ruler who sought to destory us, said the Jew. Once Pharoah wanted us slain and now every year at Passover we eat matzahs (unleavened bread).  Later Haman tried to annihilate us; now each year (during Purim) we eat the delicious hamantaschen (pastry).  I couldn't help laughing, Herr Hitler, while I listened to your ranting.  I was wondering what delicacy we will eat and what holiday we will celebrate to commemorate your downfall."
(Isreals Holy Days, Daniel Fuchs pg 85).